About Us

While in The Ether, battling to free his most beloved Money from the clutches of the inter-dimensional beast known as "Escrow", James encountered Dash, the Ultra-sonic and agreeable speedster. Dash presented James with new weapons to combat the intermittent periods without oxygen experienced when battling Escrow. At speeds lightning would be envious of, Dash formulated a strategy and found the best possible scenario to assist James in defeating his foe, ensuring that Escrow would never be of danger to The Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors again. Dash possesses the powers of Ultra-sonic speed and thought, and a masterful command of the inner workings of the financial dimension, known as The Ether. He is, in fact, so fast that the other members of the League are convinced that Dash is merely a figment of James' imagination, since he moves too quickly for them to have ever seen him. While his presence in the League is honorary, his contributions do not go unnoticed. James counts him as an ally, and the League is grateful to have his assistance.

Organized, resourceful, meticulous, punctual, professional... the list of qualities this enigmatic man possesses goes on. James met Damian while searching for qualified candidates to join the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors. A brief dance battle ensued, in which both men merely stoically stood still and stared at each other (because dance battles are obviously beneath any self-respecting man). He surprised James immediately with his near instant access to any tool (like they were hidden in a utility belt) and masterful proficiency (like he spent years honing his ninja-like skills) and creative problem solving (like he could be the world's greatest detective). James has his suspicions about Damian's origins, but the only logical conclusion is that Mr. Knight is, in fact, The Dark Knight himself. With a name as cool as Damian Knight, how could he not be Batman? Damian is an asset, and a powerful one. As a prime lieutenant in the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors, Damian has embraced his leadership role alongside James and the Magical Beard Wizard, Chance. In addition, he also brought a sidekick with him to The League. Any clients lucky enough to have Damian on their project should quickly notice and appreciate his qualities. He is the contractor we need, and the one we deserve.

David is the son of Damian Knight, and no less resourceful than his father. While young, he is ambitious and strives to emulate the example set by the leading members of the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors. From the time he arrives on a project until the time he leaves, he remains productive and performs admirably. David possesses the willpower to withstand attic temperatures that would render an ordinary man unconscious, and the dexterity of an acrobat, which allows him to move in and through confined spaces with ease. This level of training in such a young man is just another reason for James to suspect the true identity of Damian to, indeed, be Batman. And by proxy, David must therefore, be Robin. David requires very little instruction, and quickly masters the use of any tool. When teamed up with the super strong neck of Happy the Neckropolian, the pair are a force of nature. Demolition jobs that should take many hours suddenly get completed in slightly fewer hours. With his natural quick intellect and work ethic instilled by his father, David will continue to grow into positions of responsibility within The League.

Cary is an interdimensional being from an ancient human tribe of carpenters on earth 42. On the day of a child's birth within the tribe, the first words of the father become the child's name. Cary and his siblings are named "Dafuq" (the eldest by 30 minutes and a dwarf), "Haylnaw" (a bronze colored dragonborn on his earth), and "Aynmine" (a purple tiefling), respectively. The brothers are on a mission to find their father, who magically disappeared on the night of their birth. Undaunted by the task at hand, and their mother's seeming lack of interest in finding their father, Cary (Haylnaw) bravely ran alone into a portal opened by his brothers to locate their father. The brothers had precious little information from their mother about the identity of their father aside from his name, "Art Inheven", though they knew of a powerful beard wizard on earth 1 that may be able to assist them in locating him. The portal was meant to take him to Beardo (Chance) the mighty beard wizard. Little did he know that he would land directly in the headquarters of the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors, where he was intercepted by Agent D (whose mission it is to protect the earth from interdimensional beings) and James. They were happy to discover that Cary possessed the ability to breathe fire and super human carpentry skills. Thus, they decided to induct him into the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors. He immediately was shocked by his own change of appearance to human, but even more shocked by how familiar his new friends felt to him, as if they were brothers in an alternate reality. Cary has found a home within the League, yet continues his search from within the League as an integral member of its leadership.

While the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors has a leader, every leader requires a professional enforcer, and The Executor is exactly that. Nikki embodies her title in her own way. While working in the Supply Depot for "The Corporation", she encountered James. He was impressed with her ability to instantly source materials for the Super Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors and her powers of "Sweetness", which can only be described as a superpowered likeability. Threatened by her connection with the League, the petty and jealous Adjunct Corporate Master banished Nikki to the Corporate Fields of Despair. James observed the Adjunct Corporate Master's attempt to break her spirit and pulled Nikki from the Fields himself, where she was then brought to the League. Upon stepping foot into the Headquarters of the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors, Nikki shed her prior identity and became The Executor. She now wields her powers of sweetness for good, in the form of a pink sledgehammer named "Kindness". Clients appreciate her genuine desire to use the powers of the League to help them, and those of evil intent fear her mighty pink sledgehammer.

In an effort to expand the force projection of the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors, Damian ("Batman") Knight invited another of his sons to join the League. Lee Smith, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the Green Arrow, answered his father's call. James immediately saw the resemblance to the infamous Oliver Queen, though did not make his suspicions known to the rest of the League out of respect for Damian and what he suspects is Lee's secret identity. Lee has proven capable and resourceful, though rebellious in nature. He possesses extraordinary reflexes, a keen interest in the mechanical workings of old trucks better left for dead, and is quick to ally himself in any mission alongside his father and brother, David ("Robin"). Though young, he has a natural talent in the wielding of tools that compliments the skills of the rest of his family. James has no doubt that, one day, young Lee will venture on his own. But, in the meantime, he is steadily increasing his knowledge and establishing himself as a vital member of the League.

Many years ago, James embarked on a journey to the island of Puerto Rico. While battling his way through the jungles of the ESD (Evil $#!+ Department) of the super evil PREPA organization, James was greeted by Jose. After discovering Jose's powers of Managerial Execution, James formed a brotherhood with Jose. The newly formed duo fought side by side to bring solar energy projects to the island. After an epic battle over many months, Jose and James prevailed. Jose wielded his teams like a conductor commands his symphony, and brought in new and powerful allies to build clean power projects in the domain of the vicious and devious PREPA. James provided the support of problem solver to Jose and cleared the path for his newfound "Brother from Another Mother" to succeed in their shared mission. After the battle, the two men vowed to remain brothers and went their respective ways. Recently, James decided to embark on a new mission to the island, and once again called upon his brother to lead the operation. Together, the dynamic duo are working to bring the considerable talents and powers of the Super-Secret Super League of Extraordinary Contractors to create paradises within the paradise of Puerto Rico. This time, they will be armed with Mojitos and Mofongo.